January 18, 2013

I'm an ignorant son of a man.


Do you love what you do.

Do you love what you do? Do you take time every morning to praise God in such a way that you are at the very least grateful for what you do. I believe that not everyone can say this. It's not statistical proof and I haven't done studies but by the demeanor of people and how they carry themselves and what they talk about and what, that as shallow as it sounds, they POST about; it doesn't reflect a life of gratefulness. They haven't found happiness in the simplistic sense and more importantly they gave up trying. Perhaps they've  never given it a chance. I was never told growing up that "I could do whatever I desired to do." I mean yes I heard it but I was never TOLD it. I feel like no one ever sat me down looked me in the eyes and told me one of the most profound yet stereotypical things: 'you can be and do whatever you so desire.' I feel resentful. I feel cheated and misinformed and I think that someone, be it my dad or counselor or probation officer, let me down. I feel like they all let me down and I think it's because they too never had someone say it to them.

Submerse yourself. This is a broad statement but we need to surround ourselves and submerse ourselves with people and things we enjoy. This sounds extreme but I'm convinced that if you're not happy at your job then you need to quit and find a new one. "I have a mortgage and bills and kids and..." I want to understand but I don't. What I do understand is that you got yourself to this place and in order to get out you need to not wait for anyone else. Like the parable of them man waiting for a helicopter in an ocean you need to open your eyes and see the boats and canoes and rafts passing by. The longer you or I or anyone waits the harder it will be. We have things called minds, with brains which may cause us to think too much and do too little. Common sense isn't always a thought, sometimes it's an action and sometimes it requires action to obtain. Quit living like a cookie cutter and be something you desire. Be someone you'd look up to. I desire for the world to be of character and integrity. While realizing that this is impossible my desire immediately switches to sympathy, love that shadows evil and a sense of "I really don't give a shit who you aren't" so that I may listen, understand and help them. It's important to be honest with yourself when you think such things though because if you proceed and act out if dishonesty or to feel good about yourself you will not only end up burning up but bringing people down with you along the way. It's a reason why Christians all of a sudden don't seem so 'Christ like.' Because they're motivation wasn't honest it was selfish ambition with Jesus written on it. A slippery slope. A recipe for disaster.