January 27, 2012

Arcade Fire

I don't consider myself artsy or trendy but can see certain artistic and trendy qualities I posses. Not sure if that's a good or a bad thing but because I can say I do it out of sincerity and honesty then i'll be fine with it.

I came across the band ARCADE FIRE about 5 years ago. A bmx company named LOTEK put 2 of their songs in a Vancouver, BC edit they did and I fell in love. In fact watching that video takes me right back to Keystone and Marborols at Rob Crumps house. Good times. Shortly after and since i've refrenced ARCADE FIRE as my favorite modern day band. Their music has always appealed to me and even today as they've become somewhat of a 'trendy band' to listen to I justify it through the fact that I've known then and been jammin' their music since before Neon Bible (their 3rd and best album) came out.

Here's art from a musicical and visual perspective. One of my favorite songs of all time:

January 20, 2012

La liberté. Partie 1:

FREEDOM ‎[free-duhm]: the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint.

I've really be making a hard attempt at trying to not offend people lately. I can come off so opinionated and arrogant and I don't think it's right. Yes there's a part of me and a part to all of this that I really don't have to give a %&$# but it's also easier to not care than to take into consideration other peoples thoughts and egos. (this statement revealing that I have one of my own). You can't judge a book by it's cover and that's why at the age of 40 i'd like to be covered head to toe with tattoos. (point proven)

I have to write more often so bare with me. I apologize ahead of time for sucking at it but in order to get better i've really come to realize I need to exercise the ability more often. No one is spending hundreds of dollars on shoes and entry fees to run the Boston Marathon without having trained before hand and if I expect to go to school for Journalism this next year then why would I not get a jump on the program? I'm sorry if that offended you, I didn't mean it I swear...

As you all know I'm very fond of myself and my ideologies. I legitimately take pride in being able to extract them from my head, down my neck, bypassing the heart as often as possible and through my arms into these hands. It's a passion the Lord has given me and ever since a friend of mine (Kayla Blythe) told me I should begin journaling about 4 years ago I've seen it very therapeutic to my undiagnosed ADD. Or ADHD? HIV? Whatever my diagnosis is; it's detrimental to my health this i'm sure of.

So I had a thought, many of them actually but to generalize them and push them through a funnel i'd say that the thought was about FREEDOM. And FREEDOM I am fond of. I told a friend a few years back that I would take a bus into Canada, have a beer, then take off into the wilderness for a few days by my lonesome. Dreadfully, it never happened but just the ambition I had and the originality of it really stired something inside me. Jesus is the ultimate freedom and has shown me He's the only true sense of being free, in relation with Him and so through this relationship i've found that my soul has swayed back and forth in burden and weightlessness. He never said I'd always feel free but He did say i'd have the ability to be. Anyway, I've come to realize that freedom isn't just being lonesome or single or away from the city. It's actually a sort of state of mind, and for me and those of us who call ourselves Christians it comes with things like peace and creativity and drive to do something better. Freedom has, to me, become relationship with Jesus. Sounds foreign I know and I honestly don't expect you to understand until you've given your life to Jesus but it's just...legit.

I had a conversation with Glenn yesterday/today about relationship. I told him that I think often that if I had the opportunity to do whatever I felt was best that more often than not it was by myself. I told him that my battle with the thought of not having Bri or a girl in general in my life is prevalent but almost unfathomable, and how it sort of angers me. If I can't see myself lonely then have I become dependent on other people? Have I fallen victim to a sort of 'healthy' codependency and what will the future look like? I can't answer those questions (hence why I ask them) but what I can't tell you are my desires. I feel terrible that you've read another blog posting about me going on an adventure, doing what my heart desires and never returning. I apologize for this but it is what its become and I can hardly help it. Shit, in fact I can hardly think straight after this kind of therapy. But it is therapy so I'm blessed by it, blessed to have such clarity through simple thoughts. I hope you can do the same. Cheers.

Joshua Monteith/MOORpictures

January 16, 2012

Valley of Ditches

I apologize for lost time, for empty blog promises that lead into deep condemnation of eternal unfulfillment of blog posts...

I've moved from Idaho. I assume that 99.9% of you would have already caught onto that since I'm really only speaking to prior Facebook friends, etc. and just seem to fancy the idea that a handful of foreign citizens eat my words; even somewhat of an audience in another time zone would be satisfactory. I suppose I'm just bitter about my unpopularity and need not be. Damn it.

With moving to Seattle I moved forward with the intention to open myself to newness. Newness being very broad I know but that's really all I'm looking for. New people, surroundings, passions, and opportunities. Made sense at the time and quite frankly still does. I'm not one to strive for change in much more than my surroundings but I was hoping for an entire revamp of life that comes with moving and feel fortunate to have done so without fleeing from anything worth mentioning.

I'm no expert. In fact I hardly know anything and the more I realize this, the unschooled mind of mine is fairly worthless in certain areas. I feel like life is in a constant state of development and often I'm not really allowing it to develop me. Like showing up for a basketball game without a pair of Nikes I feel like the world should pause for a week while I try to figure out half of what's happening. In this moment and these next days i'll be faced with uncertainty but I find security in that, i've seen that I work best when I'm on my toes and uncertainty only causes humans to strive for what is at hand. Keeping in mind that what is to be determined is simply intangible therefore nonexistent.

I'm not one to stand by. I had my time, I chose to unproductively watch the world pass me by as a by standard of addiction. Not for the last 3 years and never again will I waste such time. I can't and God has made it apparent that it'll be easier for me to die than not to attempt to spend my time wisely. I've got ideas for days and like I've said before, we can have all the greatest ideas but that's all they'll be till we can develop and produce. Sometimes I'll daydream as if I was speaking to a classroom full of high school students. Seniors probably and I'm giving them a hypothetical scenario, something with struggle and failure and loneliness. A scenario where it comes to a point in their journey where they need to decide, they suddenly wake up and find themselves in the most important decision of their lives: 'will I go for it or will I quit' becomes the end-all decision. The funny thing about the scenario, they don't realize that the question only leaves with intention to come back 7 fold. I think I'm speaking in front of a class of Seniors because I realize that it's the age in which I sort of asked myself the same question for the first time. I'm speaking to them with a bit of hope and criticism. "No one is there to really support you" I tell them. "Even your best of friends have seemed to chose to give up, making you, in a sense, the savior of them all."

I encourage you who may read this to not waver from where you stand. When someone tells themselves that they're insignificant then insignificant they become. I really have been feeling that since the move I have the capability of doing anything I want. It's stupid and ridiculously naive to say but I've come to believe it and not only to do whatever gives me fulfillment but to be the best at it. Not until I came into relationship with Jesus did I ever think 'artistically' or really believe I was someone who possessed creativity, but I do. We do. We all have it in us and if this punk alcoholic 5 yr senior can sit here and have full confidence in myself and Jesus, that together we'll change the world; well then I'd say you have very good odds.

Joshua Monteith/MOOR pictures

(tonights writings inspired by of course, Jesus but also this husband/wife Old Horse Coral HERE who is a friend of a friend. Be blessed people)